inked

stark black against soft pale skin.

a needles pull, a nip, a sting. 

forged forever for all to see.

damaged, branded, tattooed me. 

all with meaning, no regrets. 

writing, my story, a voice, an outlet. 

walk my path, go where iv been.

stark black ink against soft pale skin...

45

today is just another day.
a number not yet forgotten
a yesterday and tomorrow
a shiver
the past
a broken heart and a goodbye
a tear
a river cried
a door closed
a chapter read
a new beginning
today

sepia

I'm a disappointed person in a disappointing world. living disillusioned dreams. speaking disillusioned words. if you could be that person, if you could speak those words. would you be disappointed? would you live in my world?

the powers that be

been working my ass off since last sept on the biological and biomedical science course I enrolled on to get me into 1st year of mental health nursing at uni. iv really struggled with the workload and competing demands of motherhood and part time employment but iv persevered and am sitting on pretty good grades! nursing is now part of the ucas application so I got that completed late december and patiently waited on the invitations for interview as part of the selection process. got called for UU up at magee in Derry/Londonderry. despite research and preparation, I completely froze on one of the questions and was unsuccessful however they have since contacted me and will consider me for clearing but I don't hold out much hope. time went on and I still hadnt heard from queens. when I phoned they kept advising me they were still shortlisting. as interviews are only up until the end of april I asked the lovely @melmc1403 to phone them on my behalf and insist they looked at my application which they did without issue. she was told I'd been unsuccessful and wouldn't be called for interview for any of the degrees I'd applied for. as I'd had two precious conditional offers for a place on the program I assumed there would be no issue and come september I'd b a trainee nurse. to be honest, prior to the interview at UU I did have a few doubts about whether it was really for me. Because I'm holding no offers I now have the chance to make an additional choice through ucas extra.. having looked through the UU and QUB undergraduate prospectuses iv found two courses which I'm keen on and would actually suit me better than mental health nursing. iv applied for the one which interests me the most and am hoping to hear back, although my personal statement mentions 'mental health nursing' so hoping this doesnt go against me. when making my original application I didnt even view or consider any other courses because I was set on nursing but it just goes to show that what's for you won't go past for x who knows what the future holds but whatever it is, it's meant to be THANK YOU FOR READING

know

should anything happen, know that I loved you. know that while you were mine. you were safe! and loved and longed for! know how beautiful you are and how grateful i was that you found and saved me. know that I wouldn't be me without you. know that your more than you will ever realise, but most importantly know that I knew you were her!

life and lemons

they say that if life gives you lemons you can either make lemonade or ask for tequila and salt.

it's hard to be upbeat when your constantly being knocked down! hard to tread water in a sea full of waves. like a rat in a wheel, never really going anywhere! full of hope till the domino effect begins and each one of your hopeful steps becomes muddy and swamped.

another day

I'm a day further than I was yesterday. dramatic I know but today that surprises me. I was involved in a car accident. the car spun on the road, I didnt know how to stop it. we ended up in a ditch! suspended by a tree above a small steam. brooke was in the car! I didn't know what to do. I never do in those type of situations. I opened the drivers side door and saw only a river beneath. I called mel! she was in another town but I felt safer, stronger with her on the other end of the phone. the car was at a slant. I climbed out the drivers door. got brooke my little angel. by then someone had stopped. a nurse. I was crying, shaking, embarrassed. she was lovely. took us to her car to wait. mel arrived once I got back home. made everything better. always does!

it's a new day. I'm thankful brooke wasnt hurt. grateful to the lady who helped us. barely a scratch on the car would you believe.