AbOuT mE

My photo
hello. im melanie @meltothemax mummy to the beautiful brooke, wife to be to the lovely @melmc1403, hormonal, traveller, geocache, tattoo's, linfield, foodie, proud to be from NI. im always putting pen to paper so thought id get my ramblings out there and on to the world wide web... hopefully you will get to know me through the things i write about but anything else you'd like to know just ask. please feel free to comment, it will be both welcome and appreciated.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Trust in the powers that be

The facts according to me

I know that throughout my dad's sobriety he was close to god as part of his AA program. I know that during his illness he gave his life to the lord. I know in my heart that he knew what this entailed and made this decision conciously. I know that on the 11th of march 2014, he fully put his trust in the big man above. His daily reflections book says in black and white on that day "when I ask God for guidance I know that whatever happens is the best possible situation,  things are exactly as they are supposed to be, even if they aren't what I want or expect. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, if I let him...

rest in peace at last dad

Thursday, 29 May 2014


more than a colour.
although various shades.
sky blue, royal blue and cornflower...
each bringing their own thoughts to mind.
a feeling. a mood.
the ocean. the sky.
football colours. a team. your team.
blood and eyes. your eyes.
blue. my mood. my eyes. my team. my blood.

Monday, 31 March 2014


hero's come in many shapes and forms. doctors, fire fighters, blood and organ donors, foster carers, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, even children. a hero can be anyone. the person that just passed you on the street, the child who chased away a bully, or the driver in the ambulance with the blue lights that you pulled in for. while my dad was ill, my two brothers and i stayed with him. taking turns to lie on the floor, each taking a shift to sit up with him so he would never be alone. in that time, i watched two people that id known for 31 and 17 years respectively, turn into hero's. i watched my 31 year old brother lift my dad single-handed in an effort to make him more comfortable. while my 17 year old brother repeatedly reassured dad that he loved him, that we'd all be ok and it was time for him to let go, knowing that it was the last thing he ever wanted to say. hero's were made in that side room. we did things we never imagined. but more importantly we did it together...

modern day miracles

miracles mean different things to different people. some believe they belong in the bible. some see them when their children are born and some when their lives are saved from accidents or disasters. a lot of people i know believe that they aren't religious but i always think that if it came down to it and something really big happened that they would pray to god for help. the miracle i witnessed, wasn't the miracle that id hoped for but it was a miracle none the less, it was watching my father live for 12 whole days and nights without food, water or medication when he was given 72 hours at most. amazing the medical team and anyone else who saw him. sometimes when people die, their loved ones don't get a chance to say goodbye. those 12 days gave us that time. gave us time to right wrongs. time to love. and witness love. gave us an opportunity to bond. to comfort. to share. to be thankful. to be better people and to be there for someone in need. without a doubt the most horrendous days of my life, but 12 days that will never be forgotten. 12 days where i watched my brothers turn into men. 12 days where i had unconditional support from my beautiful wife. 12 days where she gave up the comfort of a bed to lie on a hospital floor to make things easier and allow us more sleep. 12 days where i watched a man turn to nothing. 12 days lived against the odds.. 12 days im thankful for. a miracle...

Sunday, 30 March 2014

the return

been meaning to write for sooooooooooooo long but as always life got in the way. my last blog was about the passing of my beautiful wifes father just 10 days before our wedding. that was 6 months ago now and in that short time alot has happened. firstly i was lucky enough to marry the beautiful mel twice. we went ahead with our original ceremony on 12th sept 2013, just me, mel, brooke and two witnesses. no cars, flowers or dresses. just us. we got christmas over us and re booked the wedding for our wee princesses third birthday (sat 1st of feb) mels paternal grandfather was taken into hospital and after choosing not to receive treatment, he sadly lost his battle with cancer and passed away in january. such a brave decision not to accept treatment but after watching his son lose his fight with an aggressive blood cancer, he decided medication wasnt for him. my own father was admitted to hospital on the 14th of january with pneumonia like symptoms and regretfully wasn't able to attend our big day. they say your wedding day is meant to be the best day of your life. for me the day was a disaster from start to finish, but mel and brooke enjoyed it and for me that was enough. my dad didnt get better, instead everyday he got worse. he was diagnosed with a metastatic neuroendocrine tumour and secondary non-ischaemic dilated cardiomyopathy and 8 weeks to the day he was admitted he passed away peacefully in his sleep with just me and my two brothers present.

i guess this is an introductory blog because there's so much more i need to say but il leave that for next time.

Monday, 2 September 2013

lymphoma one year on

slightly over a year later and the devastating news became reality. no longer ignorant to cancer. it happened to us! every single infection that came his way was fought with determination. everything that might prolong life for a moment longer was done. from the get go it was an uphill battle but one fought relentlessly. sadly the fight is over. a life taken too soon. a life im proud to say I was part of. peaceful dreams adrian. thank you for giving me your daughter to look after. and look after her I will. REST IN PEACE

Sunday, 1 September 2013

paperback writer

give me a book and some music and im happy! il actually sit down and forget about everything. forget the washing. forget there's dishes and just get lost. try talking to me when iv a book in my hand and you'll be talking to yourself. not into the idea of reading books online although I do see the benefits. im a good old fashioned paperback girl, hate a hardbacked book. no mistaking when iv read a book as it'l look like its been through the wars. the worse it looks, the better the book and that's the truth of the matter.